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Angry Columnist yells at little girls for giving away free Lemonade
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Asshat of the day award goes to Terry Savage, a columnist for the Chicago Sun Times, who yelled at some little girls who were giving away free beverages at their lemonade stand, ostensibly offending Savage’s perception of how to run a proper lemonade business.

“No!” I exclaimed from the back seat. “That’s not the spirit of giving. You can only really give when you give something you own. They’re giving away their parents’ things — the lemonade, cups, candy. It’s not theirs to give.”

I pushed the button to roll down the window and stuck my head out to set them straight.

“You must charge something for the lemonade,” I explained. “That’s the whole point of a lemonade stand. You figure out your costs — how much the lemonade costs, and the cups — and then you charge a little more than what it costs you, so you can make money. Then you can buy more stuff, and make more lemonade, and sell it and make more money.”

You can’t blame Savage…she is just a cog in the wheel of a larger market.  BP was just trying to make more lemonade in the Gulf after all, right?

Free lemonade stands aren’t what’s wrong with America, it’s asshats like Terry Savage who yell at little girls from the air conditioned comfort of her BP-Oil chugging SUV.

There is no ‘free’ lemonade :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Terry Savage.

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BP blatantly restricting media access
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“We are not at liberty to fly media, journalists, photographers, or scientists,” the company said in a letter it sent on Tuesday to Sen. David Vitter (R-La.). “We strongly feel that the reason for this massive [temporary flight restriction] is that BP wants to control their exposure to the press.”

The ability to document a disaster, particularly through images, is key to focusing the nation’s attention on it, and the resulting clean-up efforts. Within days of the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill, pictures of dead otters, fish, and birds, as well as oil-covered shorelines, ignited nationwide outrage and led to a backlash against Exxon. Consumers returned some 10,000 of Exxon’s 7 million credit cards. Forty days after the spill, protestors organized a national boycott of Exxon. So far, no national boycott of BP is in the works, despite growing frustration over the company’s inability to cap the leaking well. Obviously, pictures are emerging from this spill, but much of the images are coming from BP and government sources.

Photographers Say BP Restricts Access to Oil Spill – Newsweek.

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Bomb Explodes at Jacksonville Mosque…media doesn’t care
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I LIVE in Florida and I hadn’t heard about this.  My daily news includes reading CNN.com, MSNBC.com, Reddit, Digg and countless others.   How did I hear about it?  From a guy I follow on Twitter who lives in the UK… @Documentally.

CAIR Questions National Silence on Fla. Mosque Bombing – Yahoo! News.

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Glenn Beck has lost a MILLION viewers since January
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Eric Boehlert at Media Matters reported yesterday Glenn Beck’s Fox show just posted another ratings low for this year. The new mark was set last Thursday when the show attracted 1.82 million viewers.

In late January and into February, the program was averaging 3 million viewers each week.   Today, the viewership is trending around 2 million — which means that in a span of just three months, Glenn Beck has lost nearly one-third of its television audience.

How soft are Beck’s current ratings? He’s now posting the type of numbers that his show used to get when he was on vacation and somebody less famous stood in for him, like when he took a few days off in late March and his show averaged 1.9 million viewers.

Beck’s been back from his March vacation for weeks now, but his ratings are roughly the same as when he wasn’t even there.

Glenn Beck has lost 1/3 of its TV audience since January | Media Matters for America.

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Not Your Father’s Taliban. The New Taliban. TalibanLite.
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Isn’t it time you took another look at . . . the Taliban™?

Not your father’s Taliban™. The New Taliban™. TalibanLite™.

We know what you’re thinking: “The Taliban™? Aren’t they the dudes who blow up shit and cut off body parts?”

LOL! You’re thinking of the Old Taliban™.

How do we know what you’re thinking?

Focus groups.

Excerpt from Not Your Father by Andy Borowitz The New Yorker.

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Why Roger Ebert is the only man I trust
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I don’t remember when it started, but sometime in the 90′s I was talking to my ex wife, Brenda.  We were discussing going to see a movie. I don’t recall which film, but I had suggested one, to which she answered that she had read a negative review about it.  I asked her who’s review she had read but she couldn’t recall.  I said, “well if it wasn’t Roger Ebert, it doesn’t matter.”

“Why, what’s so good about Roger Ebert?” she asked.

“Roger Ebert is the only man I trust.”

Incredulous, she burst out laughing.  “Really, Roger Ebert?  The fat guy with the thumbs up/thumbs down thing?  THAT’S THE ONLY MAN IN THE WHOLE WORLD THAT YOU TRUST?”

Realizing I had accidentally said “man” instead of “critic”, but not wanting to let my wife get the better of me, I pushed it further.  “Yes…Roger Ebert is the only man I trust in the whole wide world.   In fact, did you know he won a Pulitzer Prize for film criticism?”

And so that’s how it started.   It became a running joke between us in fact…how Roger Ebert was the only man I trusted and it’s stuck with me until this very day.

But it’s not just a joke.  I’ve read pretty much every review the man’s written.  My bookshelf has several volumes of Roger Ebert’s Movie Yearbook, which he has put out every year since I can remember.  I really do trust his criticism infinitely more than any other film reviewer.  The man appreciates film as a narrative art.  He holds each film up to its own standards: did this film achieve what it aspired to be?

When I first read about his battle with cancer and the complications he’s gone through since, I always have felt the fear…what happens when he isn’t there anymore?  Who will tell me whether a movie is good or not, and, more importantly, why?

And that’s the real key…WHY?   That’s what I love about Roger Ebert’s reviews…he doesn’t just tell you whether it’s good or bad…he tells you why.  And he brings you into the theater with him.  Consider this excerpt from his review of “Star Wars” in 1977:

“Every once in a while I have what I think of as an out-of-the-body experience at a movie. When the ESP people use a phrase like that, they’re referring to the sensation of the mind actually leaving the body and spiriting itself off to China or Peoria or a galaxy far, far away. When I use the phrase, I simply mean that my imagination has forgotten it is actually present in a movie theater and thinks it’s up there on the screen. In a curious sense, the events in the movie seem real, and I seem to be a part of them.”

When he wrote this review, Roger Ebert had NO CONCEPT of the depth of impact the film “Star Wars” would have.  But there it is…in black and white…Roger Ebert tells the truth.

Chris Jones from Esquire Magazine recently interviewed Roger Ebert. It is a truly intimate and personal interview…one that is difficult at times to come to terms with.  It has been nearly four years since Roger Ebert lost his lower jaw and his ability to speak.  The picture that accompanies the article is shocking.  I wrote to a friend via email: It breaks my heart a bit to see him like this :-(

But then I read Ebert’s blog response to the Esquire article, and I realized that he’s not gone.  Roger Ebert is very much alive….perhaps even more prolific than ever.    And I’m glad he is…because he’s the only man I trust.

Thank you, Roger.

You can follow Roger Ebert’s Twitter stream here:  @ebertchicago

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Glenn Beck loses 103 sponsors, what’s left of dignity.
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– “We in no way want to promote the hateful rhetoric of Mr. Glenn Beck, and therefore take this matter very seriously,” said Dino Balzano, director of advertising at Concord Music Group, parent company of Hear Music, in an email to ColorOfChange.org.

– “We do not intend to have any additional ad placements during the program,” said Jeff Flaherty, spokesperson for Marriott International, in an email to ColorOfChange.org. “I’d like to point out that diversity and inclusion are core values at Marriott and an essential component of our success.

– “I first learned about this controversy [in November] and asked Fox to take his show out of our rotation,” said Steve Schwartz, executive vice president of consumer services for Intersections, Inc., in an email to ColorOfChange.org. “We no longer advertise on Glenn Beck’s show.”

Think Progress » Beck loses 103 sponsors as his UK television broadcast runs for five days straight without any ads..

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Orlando Jai Alai Still Open via Pelota Políte
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Orlando Jai Alai has a new champion, and it appears the venerable gambling establishment where grown men bounce tiny balls against walls will remain open, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

Slated to close last December, shortly after the new year I started to hear this buzz about Pelot Políte reporting on the goings and comings of the Orlando Jai Alai with such helpful advice as:

If you are a visiting Jai Alai player, from Spain perhaps, please feel free to mingle with Americans. Many Americans appreciate a good joke about one of its icons, like Fred Astaire, Phil Spector, Rita Hayworth, Charles Brown (comic strip) or Andrew Warhol (artist). Fifty percent of all American jokes involve the word…”ass.” And if you bring your kids, don’t forget to go to the Circus across the street from the FRONTON. Fun for all.

Shortly after I started seeing these strange messages…suddenly the Jai Alai is back again with a new season!   Coincidence?  I think not.

You can follow Pelota via Facebook:  Jai Alai Manners by Pelota Políte.

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Newsworthy or Porn worthy? Neither, it’s the Orlando Sentinel
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I swear I don’t go looking for this stuff.

Once again the Orlando Sentinel website has outdone itself, this time a story by Amy L. Edwards where some porn people are suing other porn people.    Amy Edwards is the “Breaking News” reporter for the Orlando Sentinel.   She apparently filed this gem at 6:26pm on January 18th….JUST AS THE STORY BROKE…

“Photos on male escort Web site at center of lawsuit”

Forget about whether or not this is BREAKING NEWS, HOW IS THIS NEWS AT ALL???????

Newspapers are crying about how they are losing money?  It’s because their reporters are busy writing about civil cases involving PORN.  That’s right…go for the cheap clickthroughs, Amy.  Tight work there, hun.

Photos on male escort Web site at center of lawsuit – OrlandoSentinel.com.

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Fox News Adds Sarah Palin to “Fair and Balanced” lineup
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NYTimes is reporting that Sarah Palin is joining Fox “News” as a commentator.  Palin will not have her own regular program, though she will host a series that will run on the network from time to time.

“I am thrilled to be joining the great talent and management team at Fox News. It’s wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news,” Ms. Palin said in a statement.

How much do you want to wager she quits before her contract is up?

Sarah Palin to Contribute to Fox News – Media Decoder Blog – NYTimes.com.