Dear Pandora Radio,

I’ve been trying to “upgrade” my Pandora account, but every time I try to submit my credit card info it keeps giving me a message saying it is unable to store my credit card info:

1.  Why are you storing my credit card info anyway?   I realize you need it to process my 1-time $36 charge, but I UNCHECKED auto renew.  Please assure me this is not the case and if so, WHY ARE YOU STORING MY CREDIT CARD DATA?

2.  Every time I submit my credit card information, your website  won’t take it.  The error says “It’s my fault.”   Who is saying that?  Who’s fault is it?  Is it yours?  Who are you and why are you preventing me from upgrading my account?  Has your website become sentient?

Thank you,
Johnny Diggz

P.S.  A copy of this message is being posted to my blog at http://www.diggz.org.  I’ll be happy to post your response.  Hopefully it will be a considerate one and not some automated mumbo-jumbo.  Unless your website has actually become sentient, in which case, hello.  We come in peace. 

Drew and Diggz talk about Halloween candy, U2, the side car rally, and strip bars with calls from Jason Barnhart and Mikey Millardo.

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DS 74: A Taste of Peanut Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Times are tough everywhere, and so I thought I’d try a little street performing.   As it was my first time, I thought I’d ride the coattails an Orlando institution…Dr. Geek.  If you haven’t seen him performing on the streets of Orlando, South Beach or New York, you probably know Dr. Geek from the Blubocker’s sunglasses commercial…

For more info on Dr. Geek, check out this blog…. Dr. Geek Interview.  Pic courtesy of Underdog.net

Rob Volpe from Howl at the Moon and The Orlando Show joins the Crew again and talks about Lonely Island’s “I’m On A Boat”, Diggz pranks his Facebook Status, and talks about attending the Hitchens/DeSousa religion debate at UCF and much more.

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CS 73: Painful and Bloody Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The best part about this particular performance is that I got to sing this song to this really beautiful girl named Sharli.

She said I was the bees knees. And I think she’s the cat’s pajamas. She’s so dreamy.

The Rainbow Connection 09/09/09, Johnny Diggz Live from the Red Fox Lounge.

Tonight at 3am I was startled awake by a noise.    I thought I heard a prowler outside my window.   No…I KNEW IT!   Whoever or whatever it was…it was big.  And noisy.   And it was definitely RIGHT outside my bedroom window.

So what do I do?   What would YOU do?  You’re all alone, it’s three in the morning….I have to find out what IT is, right? I can’t just sit here quietly and hope they just go away…right?   I decided action was needed.  Diggz action.

Armed only with a Maglite (the giant one that takes four D-sized batteries) and wearing my Atari Game Over pajama pants, I ventured out into the darkness.   I kept the house lights off…not wanting to lose the element of surprise.

I stealthily crept towards the source of the noise, turned a dark corner and flipped on the Maglite. Suddenly I was standing a mere 2 feet away from either E.T. or the largest damn armadillo I’ve ever seen.

We both screamed like little girls and fled….in the same direction.  I dropped the Maglite square on my foot, and, as the shooting pains ran up my leg, I realized I had made a terrible error in judgment:

I had left the door to the house open…and this giant alien dinosaur thing was scampering straight towards the open doorway.

INTO MY HOUSE.

Just then, like the Great White shark in Jaws, my cat, Nat, appears out nowhere, sees the varmint and puffs into a giant hissing spitting cobra. Startled for a second time, the thing squeals again and performs an M-F’ing four-foot leap into the air, displaying some serious Neo-dodging-bullets kind of acrobatics…right towards me.

Well, it was more of a straight up-and-down hop but, in the dark I was convinced it was launching straight AT my throat.

And, once again, I screamed like a little girl.

To my utter surprise it didn’t begin gnawing on my neck…it landed several feet away, stopping dead in its tracks. But it was most certainly not dead…No, it was very much alive.  And it was now parked between me, Nat, and the relative safety and comfort of my updated 1940′s-style kitchen.

This little pause gave me enough time to retrieve my flashlight (and my dignity).    At closer inspection, it was indeed an armadillo…a large one.  In fact, it was probably a good twenty pounds of armadillo.   Mr. Armadillo took a look at me, took a look at the hissing cat, and did what anyone would do in a similar situation…he darted UNDER my house.

Which is where he remains,  at the extent of my knowledge, to this very moment.

Tomorrow I may return with Reese’s Pieces.

Been really enjoying Stephen Lynch lately. I’ve started working on some piano arrangements of a couple of his tunes, including this one.

Stephen Lynch – If I were Gay.

Rob Volpe from Howl at the Moon stops by to talk about his Internet show, The Orlando Show, his American Idol audition, and the two play a game that Ryan thought would have gone much better.

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A few weeks ago I was in the Guitar Center in Hollywood, jamming out on a Martin S-O Ukulele, when these two axehead asshats walked by, regarding me with mocking derision. One of them said to me in a high-pitched squeal, pinkies pointed, “Rock out, old man” while his friend laughed…

But the laughter only lingered for a moment…

For I, Johnny Diggz, responded to his jibe by commencing the sweetest two-handed tapping flourish either of these man-children had ever seen, even in their dreams. They were speechless, mouths swung open like carp.  When I finished I simply threw the Uke to the nearest sales rep and walked out the door, feeling triumphant.

Just kidding; Here’s what ACTUALLY happened:

I smashed the Martin S-O Uke over the first dude’s head, knocking him unconscious, and with a two-fisted downward motion I thrust the remaining jagged, solid-mahogany neck and dovetail joint deep into the eye socket of his laughing friend, screaming, “UKES ROCK!”

Now I am in prison, awaiting trial.   At least I have my principles.

PoNuclear Power Plant Operator and all around swell guy Vance Johnson joins the Crew to talk about Submarines, Easter, Water, the Weeds, and Diggz’ decision to quit Howl at the Moon.

Episode 69 Page Link:  http://www.thechannelproject.com/crew-show/2009/9/4/cs-69-easter-rules.html

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