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2010 Ford Sadness: Runs on Oil-Soaked Pelicans
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http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/tue-june-15-2010-james-tabor

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Poodle Workout Video
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This is creepy and mesmerizing at the same time.

YouTube – Poodle Exercise with Humans.

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RIAA wins suit to ban performance of Billy Joel songs in piano bars
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The Recording Industry Association of America has prevailed in its copyright fight against piano players across the country, banning them from specifically performing songs written by singer/songwriter Billy Joel, according to court documents.

In a decision that hands the RIAA an overwhelming victory, U.S. District Judge Harold Baer of the Southern District of New York ruled in favor of the the RIAA all its main theories: that most piano players are guilty of direct, contributory, and vicarious infringement through their repeated performances of Joel’s songs, including hits such as “My Life”, “New York State of Mind”, and “Piano Man”.

In a brief note posted Tuesday to RIAA.com, the trade group for the music industry said: “We’re pleased that the court recognized not just that piano players directly infringe Mr. Joel’s copyrights but also took action against the defendants for their egregiously poor interpretations of Mr. Joel’s music.”

When asked why they specifically targeted Billy Joel songs, and not other popular piano bar songs by artists like Jimmy Buffet,  the RIAA responded by saying, “Cheesburger in Paradise?  Really?  Only drunk flip-flop wearing Parrotheads care about Jimmy Buffet songs.”

Lawyers for Joel could not be reached for comment.

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Please don’t call me Boss
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Yesterday I dropped off a prescription at my neighborhood Walgreens drive-through. I had never ordered this particular prescription so I had to ask the pharmacy tech to clarify a few things for me, which he did.

At the end of our conversation the pharmacy guy said, “you got it, Boss!”

As we drove away, my friend Stacey (who was in the car with me) and I proceeded to have a whole conversation about people throwing out undeserved nicknames like “boss” and how there’s usually something undeniably condescending about their use, regardless of intent.

When I went back the next day to pick up my order, the same kid was there and he called me “boss” again, so I aimed at him with my finger pistol and said, “Right back atcha, Chief.”

(That’ll show him!)

Except then he responded with, “Oh, thanks…I’m 1/4 Cherokee.”

What could I do?

So I killed him dead.

Now I’m on the lam. But it was sooo worth it.

Don’t call me Boss.

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Dave Chapelle on “The Secret” of positive visualization (video)
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I love Dave Chapelle.

YouTube – Dave Chapelle – The Secret.

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Not Your Father’s Taliban. The New Taliban. TalibanLite.
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Isn’t it time you took another look at . . . the Taliban™?

Not your father’s Taliban™. The New Taliban™. TalibanLite™.

We know what you’re thinking: “The Taliban™? Aren’t they the dudes who blow up shit and cut off body parts?”

LOL! You’re thinking of the Old Taliban™.

How do we know what you’re thinking?

Focus groups.

Excerpt from Not Your Father by Andy Borowitz The New Yorker.

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Orlando Jai Alai Still Open via Pelota Políte
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Orlando Jai Alai has a new champion, and it appears the venerable gambling establishment where grown men bounce tiny balls against walls will remain open, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

Slated to close last December, shortly after the new year I started to hear this buzz about Pelot Políte reporting on the goings and comings of the Orlando Jai Alai with such helpful advice as:

If you are a visiting Jai Alai player, from Spain perhaps, please feel free to mingle with Americans. Many Americans appreciate a good joke about one of its icons, like Fred Astaire, Phil Spector, Rita Hayworth, Charles Brown (comic strip) or Andrew Warhol (artist). Fifty percent of all American jokes involve the word…”ass.” And if you bring your kids, don’t forget to go to the Circus across the street from the FRONTON. Fun for all.

Shortly after I started seeing these strange messages…suddenly the Jai Alai is back again with a new season!   Coincidence?  I think not.

You can follow Pelota via Facebook:  Jai Alai Manners by Pelota Políte.

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Good Will Hunting and Good Will Hunting 2 – Back to Back
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In honor of Kevin Smith’s airline troubles, I present, back-to-back, the original bar scene from Good Will Hunting and the Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season scene from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

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Grand Moff Jobs Microsoft
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It appears Microsoft is taking a bit of an edgier direction with their Marketing….

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Mr. Deity and the Promised Land
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Another Webisode of my favorite online show.  If you haven’t seen the rest, check out the Mr. Deity Channel on YouTube

YouTube – Mr. Deity and the Promised Land.