I’ve decided not to completely migrate my old blog over, but as I go though I’m picking out some choice bits to bring over. My sister got married over the weekend and so I’ve recently been blessed by a visit from my cousin David.   In honor of his visit, I thought I’d repost some of my old Cousin David emails and hopefully be able to post some new ones as well.

Diggz' Cousin David Circa 2009

This is the first one I originally posted Jun 22, 2004, in its entirety:

I have this cousin, David who sends me random emails from time to time (doesn’t everyone?).

Anyway David’s younger brother (and his best friend), Dan, passed away tragically a few years ago and David took it very hard, but his particular brand of sociopathicynisarcasm always makes me laugh. So I thought I’d share some of his recent emails. Of course, I’m doing this completely with his permission…I’ve got a signed and sworn affidavit thingy around here somewheres….

“So, i think i’ve figured out the root cause of all my cynicism.

At work today we had a small celebration for one ladies birthday, Cindy Parisse.

And, at the end of the day when everyone else had gone home, she and Susan Curtis and i were discussing presents, and i mentioned how you can tell when someone doesn’t really like the present they’ve received when they repeat the name of the gift.

For instance, if, as they open the present, the say “Oh, great! tube socks!”, it means they really don’t like it.

We then got on the topic of Christmas, and i told of how when i was about 10 years old, all i wanted was a sleeping bag.

I was desperate for a sleeping bag for some reason that now escapes me.

I told mom, i told dad. It was the only item on my list on the refrigerator.

I didn’t believe in Santa Claus, so when i sat on his lap, i said, “Just get me a sleeping bag, tell her,” as i pointed to mom.

So eventually, i find the sleeping bag up in a closet before christmas hidden with other presents. and i’m psyched.

“i can’t wait to get my sleeping bag”. la la la i’m happy and am so looking forward to the glorious day for 3 weeks.

So i come running down christmas morning and run straight to the sleeping bag oh so joyous, only to find that the tag says, “To Dan From Santa.”

So Cindy and Sue say, “ahhh,oh, that’s so sad.” and then ask if i ever got my sleeping bag. and i hadn’t really thought about it for years, but i never have received or owned a sleeping bag.

And then Cindy says,”That is sad , so sorry . But this is really gonna kill ya.

When i was a little girl, i bugged my dad for six months for this one specific present for Chrismas and i got it.”

The two of us ask – “Well, what was it?”

Cindy- “A Pony.”

We laughed like crazy.

This is the root of all my problems.

Not only did i not get my sleeping bag, and had to sit and watch someone else enjoy it’s wonderfulness,

but other kids were getting PONIES!!! yes! PONIES!!!!

Who was her father, rhett butler?? i never heard of such a thing.

i bet the pony had a sleeping bag.

just so funny”