Given the fact that earlier this month Prince decreed that “the Internet is over,” I’m fairly certain this video doesn’t really exist, I’m not sharing it with you and he certainly doesn’t sing “Raspberry Sorbet” at 14:50 to a Muppet.

It all started in gym class, the basis of so many things in life: Dodgeball.  All the kids line up while two team captains build their teams by selecting the fastest, most agile athletes.  For the kids who get picked first, it’s great.  For those still in line at the end…it’s an exercise in humility…especially for the fat kids, for they always get picked last.

My one saving grace was that I wasn’t fat kid.  But I was skinny as a beanpole.  A light breeze would send me flying down the street.  I never got PICKED LAST…but I was well aware that I was usually still standing in line towards the end of the picking…RIGHT BEFORE THE FAT KIDS.

But I knew strategy. I may not have been the best bladder-ball thrower, or catcher or dodger. But I knew EXACTLY WHO WAS.  Anytime there was a time out, our team captain would inevitably pull me aside and ask, “what should we do?”

I’d survey the opposite team, determine which of their surviving players posed the most danger, point at him and say, “Take out THAT guy.”

Today I’m serving my third time as a Juror in Orange County for the Ninth Judicial Circuit Court.  As I sit here in the waiting room, I’m reminded of the previous two times I’ve sat in this same waiting area.  The same blind guy is still serving coffee.  Now they have WIFI (yay…I can blog!).

In 2003 I was summoned and served, showing up 8am. Around 4pm they herded 20 of us into a court room. The Judge arrived and he gave us an overview regarding a case about a grandmother who was pressing charges against her granddaughter for stealing her car.

I don’t know about you, but IF YOUR OWN GRANDMOM is pressing charges against you, you’ve got some SERIOUS PROBLEMS.  I was all ready to serve my duty (and really ready to send this grandma’s car-stealing girl to jail), but I never got the chance.

The lawyers started asking questions of the potential Jury Pool. “Do you have Grandchildren?” “Have you ever had a family dispute?” “Have you ever BORROWED A CAR?”

They posed these questions to 19 people.

I wasn’t one of them.

The lawyers skipped over me, time and time again.  They were going from person to person, asking the same 3 or 4 questions over and over…and each time they came to me, they just skipped to the next person.  It was literally like I wasn’t there.

Maybe they sensed I wanted to be a juror too much. Maybe I was too young, too old, too white…not white enough…too male, too smart looking…whatever it was, they summarily dismissed me without so much as a peep and sent me packing.

As I congregated in the elevator with my fellow dismiss-ees I mumbled, “She was probably guilty”.

An uncomfortable laugh followed.

In 2006, again I was summoned, and again I showed up to perform my civic duty.  That time I never even made it up to the courtroom.  They just dismissed me from the waiting area after I sat around for 5 hours.

Now it’s 2010.  In the time it’s taken me to write this post, they’ve called three groups of people up to court rooms…well over half of the potential pool of jurors that arrived at the courthouse with me this morning.  It’s been two hours, and I’m starting to get the sinking feeling I used to get in gym class….

I never get picked.

Tea Party Nation released a statement Monday declaring, “The Tea Party Movement is not racist.”

Judson Phillips, founder of the Tea Party Nation, said his group had to respond because “this is becoming an issue for the whole movement.”

“We are having to react to this quickly because this is the line that the other side wants to hit us with — that we are all racists. If they can make that story stick, it will destroy the effectiveness of the movement,” Phillips said.

Expert: Tea Party Split  – CNN.com.

Saw this on Hulu…Looks pretty awesome…

Brilliant mashup of two recent memes:  Double Rainbow and the Hitler videos:

The dueling piano community in Central Florida is all abuzz with the announcement of a new dueling piano bar opening on Church Street in Orlando.   Slated to open later this summer, Baby Grands Dueling Piano Bar is taking over the 6,700-square-feet space that was formerly the Olive Garden…mere steps away from where Howl at the Moon used to be.

Howl at the Moon on Church Street was wildly successful, drawing a steady flow of downtown regulars in the waning years of Church Street Station’s glory days.   I know, because I was one of those regulars, and it was my first exposure to dueling pianos as a concept (my mom suggested that I audition, something I actually did many years later).

Baby Grands is opening in a city not without its share of competitors.  Howl at the Moon operates over 10 locations around the country, and its International Drive venue has been one of the company’s flagship stores for at least six years.  Pat O’Briens in CityWalk and Jellyrolls at Disney Boardwalk also do nightly dueling piano shows.  I’ve also heard there are a few bars in the Lake Mary area that have been experimenting with the format on weekends.

To its advantage, the entire 55 West area of Church Street has slowly been making a comeback in recent months.  The area already boasts 377 of the most centrally located apartments downtown, Amura Sushi, Panchero’s Mexican Grill and Gino’s Pizza & Brew.  Now, in addition to Baby Grands, they’ve announced plans for a new bar called Blend in the old Sharper Image space and Mad Cow Theater is moving into the old Hooter’s space.  And apparently Baby Grands will be be serving food…something that most other dueling piano bars (including Howl at the Moon) do not do.

The question on everyone’s mind is:  who is behind this new venture? The Orlando Business Journal reports that the principals own restaurants, bars and other franchises in Florida, New York and Virginia.

More importantly:  Who’s going to be playing there?   There are a limited number of experienced “A” duelers in town (I’ve met or played with most of them) and without exception, all of them have steady gigs at one of the already-established venues.  Will the new bar be able to attract talent from the other clubs?  We shall see.

One thing is for certain…lips are sealed tight.  If anyone is jumping ship, they’re keeping mum about it.  But I peeked in the space, and build-out has commenced.  Banners are flying in the windows and this week’s “Best of Orlando” issue of the Orlando Weekly featured a 1/4 page color ad for the new club.  Baby is on her way.

Piano bar on tap at 55 West – Orlando Business Journal

Baby Grands Dueling Pianos in Downtown Orlando « Pulse of Central Florida.

The most comprehensive list I’ve found so far on Twitter accounts for our Federal Level government officials…from the President down to each member of the House of Representatives.  Here are a few examples…

National Science Foundation: NSF
Environmental Protection Agency: EPA
Department of State: America.gov
Department of Health & Human Services: Food & Drug Administration: FDA Recalls
Department of Agriculture: Food Safety Information Center
U.S. Geological Survey: Earthquake & Tsunami Warning

For the whole list, visit:  http://twitter.pbworks.com/USGovernment

I was a guest on Chris Matthieu’s Rubyology podcast today.   We talked about the upcoming AdhearsionConf 2010 in San Francisco August 14-15 2010. (among other things)…

You can jump to the Rubyology site or listen below:

 

 Rubyology 86: Adhearsion: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The above picture represents the amount of junk food one child in the UK eats in a year.  One in Three kids in the UK between the ages of 5-13 is already considered obese.  It’s worse in the United States.

Junk food mountain: The astonishing amount of rubbish one child eats every year | Mail Online.

For all my fellow Firefly fans out there…enjoy:

YouTube – Firefly Intro… The Awesome Edition.